High expectations, family conflicts, and lack of quality time together can also add to the stress while waiting for support.
Family therapy and relationship counselling can help to manage and resolve issues but are often not immediately available. While you wait, we hope you can use this information to help to navigate your way way.
Engage Podcast
Episode # 1 • Dec 2024 • 33 mins
Hosted by Simone
Pronouns: She, her, hers
Relationship Educator, Anglicare WA​
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We dive into practical strategies to navigate family dynamics, maintain healthy relationships, set boundaries and ensure self-care amidst the festive chaos. Tune in for expert advice, personal anecdotes and actionable tips.
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Managing relationships
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A bit of preparation, calming yourself, and trying new strategies can help your chances of a positive change.
Remember, you deserve to feel safe and respected.​​​
When we worry about run-ins, adrenaline can make us lose confidence or shake us, tips to help calm this:
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Practice deep breathing
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Feel your emotions... then control them
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Encourage yourself, think – “I can handle this”
Communication Skills
Identifying and improving communication patterns within the family can help reduce misunderstanding and conflicts.​ Techniques such as Assertive Communication and Active Listening are often recommended.
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Why communication might not be working​
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Mixed messages: Someone says a different thing to what they feel.​
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Silencing: Someone wants to speak but feels unable.​
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Repetition: When someone repeats their contribution (such as opposing). again and again, even though the conversation needs something else.
Handling disagreements
Navigate difficult conversations while maintaining peace and respecting your own boundaries.
Conversation Redirecting
Situation: A heated political discussion starts at dinner. ​
You: “I get this is an important topic, but let’s save it for another time. Let's talk about our favourite holiday!”
Setting Boundaries
Situation: A family member criticises your life choices.​
You: “I appreciate your concern, but I’d prefer if we didn’t discuss this right now. Let’s focus on enjoying our time together. How’s your new job going?”​
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Take a Break
Situation: You need a moment to cool down from tensions.​
You: “Excuse me, I'm heading out for fresh air. Back soon!"​
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Using Humour to Defuse Tension
Situation: A disagreement about plans is escalating.​
You: “Looks like we’re all pretty passionate about what we each want to do! Maybe we should have a ‘best plan’ contest and let the best idea win?”​
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Active Listening and Validation
Situation: A family member feels unheard; raises their voice.​
You: “I hear you’re upset about this. Let’s take a moment to take a breath and talk about it more calmly. I want to understand your point of view.”​
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Asserting Your Needs
Situation: You're being pushed into an activity.​
You: “I’m not comfortable with that but thank you for the offer. Let’s find something we can all enjoy together.”​​
Try to Avoid Engaging in Conflict​
It’s tough to stay quiet when someone is saying things you don't agree with, but it can be better for your own peace of mind to simply not engage with it. Aside from limiting your contact, it’s helpful not to play into interactions which you find upsetting.
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If a conversation gets heated, try to change the topic or leave the discussion. Arguing can make things worse and affect your well-being.
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How to prepare yourself: Script Activity​
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Write down something that has happened before with your family, what your family member said, and your reply.
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Write about how it made you feel. This might be easy because similar things have probably happened many times before. We often know what to expect from our family and how we usually react.
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If a family member always bothers you about your health, life choices, or children, think of different ways to respond.
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Practice what you’ll say before seeing them.
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How can we change our usual ways without upsetting others?
Changing how we act can make difficult family gatherings more enjoyable. But we often stick to our usual behavior because we think others expect it. We don’t want to cause trouble at big family events. By making small changes in how we act, we can feel more in control and have better experiences.
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Need to rewrite your family script this Christmas? The Guardian