Repairing Relationships
Repairing relationships after a rupture is a crucial process that involves acknowledging the disconnection, taking responsibility, and fostering reconnection. This guide helps you navigate the path to reconciliation and build healthier, more resilient connections.
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Repair is defined as the act of going back to a moment of disconnection, taking responsibility for your behaviour, and acknowledging the impact on the other person. A good repair opens up a conversation and focuses on reconnection, whereas an apology aims to shut conversation down, such as – “Hey, I’m sorry I yelled. Can we move on now?” ​
Repair Relationships – Valuable Insights
Inspired by the advice of clinical psychologist and renowned parenting expert, Becky Kennedy.
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Acknowledge the Rupture
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Recognise that a disconnection has occurred.
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Understand the impact of your behaviour on the other person.
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Self-Repair
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Separate your identity from your behavior.
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Remind yourself that your behaviour doesn’t define you.
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Replace self-blame with groundedness.
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Take responsibility for your actions.
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Name what happened.
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State what you would do differently next time.
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Reconnect. Ensure the other person feels safe and understood.
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Replace their self-blame with a story of self-trust and connection.
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Teach New Skills.
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Use the opportunity to teach effective communication and emotional regulation.
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