Understanding Emotions
Sometimes we can dismiss our feelings by labelling our emotions as 'good/right' or 'bad/wrong' but this is not always the most useful way to try and understand the connection between our feelings and our reactions.
One author, Susan David, suggests we see our emotions as data to consider when framing our responses to situations and NOT as a direct link to our reactions.
The ways we engage with our emotions shape 'everything' including our relationships and our well-being.
TIP: Watch the videos as well as reading information as both have additional information presented
What are emotions?
Emotions are intricate reactions that occur in our bodies and minds in response to various stimuli.
Things that can make us feel different emotions.
Sensory Experiences:
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Sight: Watching a stunning sunset can make you feel relaxed and calm.
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Sound: Hearing a favourite song can bring joy and remind you of happy times.
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Smell: The smell of fresh rain might remind you of a place you feel safe.
Social Interactions:
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Positive Feedback: Receiving praise at work can boost your confidence and happiness.
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Conflict: An argument with a friend or family member can lead to feelings of confusion, anger or sadness.
Life Events:
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Milestones: Getting your car license may make you feel excitement and pride.
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Loss: The death of a loved one can cause deep sorrow and grief.
Internal Thoughts:
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Memories: Thinking about a good memory can make you feel warm and happy.
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Worries: Thinking about what might happen in the future can make you feel anxious and stressed.
Physical States:
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Hunger: When you’re hungry, you might get cranky or impatient.
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Fatigue: When you’re tired, you might feel down and more likely to have negative emotions.
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Pain: When you’re in pain, whether it’s physical or emotional, it can bring your mood down and make you more likely to have negative reactions.
Emotions can range from extreme happiness and excitement to deep sadness or anger.
Emotions Are Important:
Emotions aren’t just quick feelings that come and go. They help us understand what’s happening around us and how we feel inside.
Types of Emotions
Emotions can be broadly categorised into several types, each serving different functions and influencing our behaviour in unique ways.
Note: Mindfulness and guided breathing sessions resources can be found at the end of this module
Here are some common types of emotions:
Basic Emotions
These are feelings everyone experiences, no matter where they’re from: Happiness: Feeling joy and satisfaction. Example: Feeling happy when you’re with loved ones. Sadness: Feeling sorrow and disappointment. Example: Feeling sad after losing a pet. Fear: Feeling anxious and worried. Example: Feeling scared in a dangerous situation. Anger: Feeling frustrated and irritated. Example: Feeling angry when treated unfairly. Surprise: Feeling shocked and amazed. Example: Feeling surprised by an unexpected gift. Disgust: Feeling revulsion and aversion. Example: Feeling disgusted by spoiled food.
Complex Emotions
These emotions are mixes of basic feelings and are often shaped by social and cultural factors: Love: A mix of affection, attachment, and care. Example: Feeling love for a partner or family member. Guilt: Feeling remorse and regret. Example: Feeling guilty after hurting someone’s feelings. Shame: Feeling humiliation and embarrassment. Example: Feeling shame after not meeting expectations. Pride: Feeling accomplishment and self-worth. Example: Feeling proud after reaching a personal goal. Jealousy: Feeling envy and insecurity. Example: Feeling jealous when a friend gets something you want. Empathy: Understanding and sharing another person’s feelings. Example: Feeling empathy when a friend is having a tough time.
Positive Emotions
These feelings help us feel good and happy: Gratitude: Feeling thankful and appreciative. Example: Feeling grateful for a kind gesture. Hope: Feeling optimistic and expecting good things. Example: Feeling hopeful about a new opportunity. Interest: Feeling curious and engaged. Example: Feeling interested in learning a new skill.
Negative Emotions
These feelings can be tough but also tell us about our needs and limits: Anxiety: Feeling nervous and uneasy. Example: Feeling anxious before meeting your partner's family. Loneliness: Feeling isolated and disconnected. Example: Feeling lonely when missing friends or family. Frustration: Feeling blocked or hindered. Example: Feeling frustrated when facing repeated obstacles.
Understanding these different types of emotions can help us navigate our experiences more effectively and make healthier decisions.
Do any of these emotions resonate with you or seem particularly relevant to your life right now?
The Role of Emotions
Emotions play a crucial role in our lives by influencing our thoughts, behaviors, and interactions.
Emotions have a few key roles:
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Motivation: Emotions push us to act.
For example, Fear can make us avoid danger, while joy can make us seek out good experiences.
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Social Interaction: Emotions help us connect with others. They let us empathise, communicate well, and build relationships.
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Decision Making: Emotions give us useful info for making choices. They help us judge situations and figure out what’s important to us.
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Adaptation: Emotions help us adjust to our surroundings. They give us the information to make the right responses to different situations.
Overall, emotions are crucial for our well-being and shape our experiences and interactions.
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Better Mental Health: By recognising and dealing with our emotions, we can lower stress and anxiety, which improves our mental health.
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Better Relationships: Emotional intelligence helps us empathise and communicate, which is crucial for healthy relationships.
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Better Decision-Making: Understanding our emotions helps us make choices that fit who we really are, leading to more satisfying results.
By boosting our emotional awareness and intelligence, we can handle life’s challenges better and live a healthier, more satisfying life.
The role of emotions in decision making
In essence, grasping emotions goes beyond simply improving our mood; it involves making wiser decisions that enhance our general welfare.
Recognising and naming our emotions helps us understand what we’re really feeling and why. This awareness is the first step to managing our emotional responses well.
Once we know our emotions, we can learn to regulate them. This doesn’t mean hiding them but managing them, so they don’t overwhelm us or lead to impulsive decisions.
Emotions can show us our values, needs, and desires. For example, feeling anxious about a decision might mean it clashes with our core values or long-term goals.
Understanding our own emotions can also help us empathise with others. This can improve our relationships and help us make decisions that consider the well-being of those around us.
Activity: The Feelings Wheel
Being able to figure out what you're feeling is linked to emotional intelligence (Salovey & Mayer, 1990).
If you're good at this, you can really get into the nitty-gritty of how you feel and have a whole bunch of words to describe it.
Studies have shown that expanding your emotional vocab can help you handle your feelings better (Kircanski et al., 2012).
The Feelings Wheel, created by Gloria Willcox (1982), is a helpful tool for people to better understand and identify their emotions.
Benefits of using the Feelings wheel:
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Check out what emotions you're going through at any time during the day.
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Think about the feelings you've had throughout the day during some self-reflection.
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Dive into those deep, long-lasting emotions that might be messing with you.
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Get better at describing your experiences in more detail.
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You can feel a whole mix of emotions at once, and the wheel isn't about dodging feelings or swapping 'bad' ones for 'good' ones. Instead, the idea is to figure out how you're feeling, embrace it for what it is, and share it if you feel like it.
How would you describe how you feel now before using the Feelings Wheel?
How did the description change after using the Feeling Wheel?
Activity:
Script to communicate how you are feeling
Here is a script template for communicating emotions in a positive, healthy, and helpful way, along with examples and tips
You feel overwhelmed by household chores and need more support from your partner. Positive Opening: “Hey Alex, do you have a moment to talk? I really appreciate how hard you work and how much you do for our family.” State Your Emotion: “I’ve been feeling really overwhelmed lately.” Describe the Situation: “When I come home from work and see that the house is still a mess, it makes me feel stressed and frustrated.” Explain the Impact: “This stress has been affecting my mood and our time together because I feel like I can’t relax.” Express Your Needs: “I think it would help if we could share the household chores more evenly. Maybe we can create a schedule together?” Invite Their Perspective: “I’d love to hear your thoughts on this. How do you see it?” End with Appreciation: “Thank you for listening, Alex. It means a lot to me.”
Scenario
Tips for Effective Communication
By following the guidelines and these tips, you can improve the communicate your emotions in a way that fosters healthy and supportive relationships.
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Use “I” Statements: Focus on your own feelings and experiences rather than blaming or criticising the other person. For example, “I feel” instead of “You make me feel.”
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Be Specific: Clearly describe the situation and the emotions it triggered. Avoid vague statements.
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Stay Calm: Try to remain calm and composed, even if the emotions are intense. This helps keep the conversation constructive.
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Listen Actively: After expressing your feelings, listen to the other person’s perspective without interrupting. Show that you value their input.
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Be Open to Compromise: Be willing to find a middle ground or a solution that works for both parties.
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Practice Empathy: Try to understand the other person’s feelings and point of view. This can help build mutual respect and understanding.
Do you have a specific situation in mind where you’d like to apply this?
Checking In
Strengths. You do have them!
There are a few ways of looking at strengths.
Research shows that knowing and using your character strengths can help you:
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Increase happiness and well-being
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Find meaning and purpose
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Boost relationships
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Manage stress and health
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Accomplish goals
The VIA Character Strengths Survey has a quick 10minute survey to help determine what your character strengths may be; but you could also:
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Reflect on experiences when you felt good about how you managed the situation.
What skills and traits did you use? -
Look for patterns in both behaviours and attitudes.
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Ask trusted people who know you best
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Try new things
Try to keep an open mind about the strengths you already have as well as the ones you may want to work towards.
Where you surprised at your results? Why?
Contact Anglicare WA
Everyone needs help sometimes. Anglicare WA is here to support you without judgement.
Anglicare WA offers a wide range of services in multiple locations across WA, we’re never too far away.
If you’re not sure where to go, call us on 1300 11 44 46.
